HOLIDAY HORRORS '10We're doing things a little differently this year. There aren't enough unwatched holiday themed horror titles out there to fill an all-new slate (we've covered all the good ones -- and all the shittiest), so we're raiding the Horrors vault. From the list of favorites below, request the ones you want in the draw. Any title that gets a vote goes in -- and we won't watch it without you. We do have a handful of new offerings, which are automatically in.
Blood Rage (1987) - Witness the dumb and bloody Thanksgiving rampage of dorky, blonde, v-neck-sweatered twins Terry and/or Todd in this grisly forgotten turd-gem. Gorehounds, vote yes.
Home Sweet Home (1981) - Legendary Horrors classic where the Body By Jake guy does PCP, walks around a lot and kills a bunch of people that may or may not be a family on a day that may or may not be Thanksgiving. Shot in three days. Borderline avante garde.
The Granny (1995) - Several of you missed this at its riotous October Frights '10 screening, so we're sneaking it into Horrors for an encore. A combination of stupidity, latexy gore and awkward nudity that's basically the reason Frights exists.
Thankskilling (2009) - Last year's premiere was so goddamned beer-soaked that I don't remember if anyone missed it. If you did, here's your chance.
The House of Yes (1997) *Premiere* - That movie where Parker Posey is holding a gun on the cover. Turns out it takes place on Thanksgiving.
Bad Santa (2003) - Billy Bob at his best, playing a character whose soul is dogshit.
It's a Wonderful Life (1946) - The Ultimate.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) - I remember seeing this in the theater on opening day and being like, "Wait, what? There's singing?"
Scrooged (1988) - Don't worry. Here at Frights, we blitz the fucking STOP button before that piece of shit singalong part over the end credits. So it's all gravy.
The Ref (1994) *Premiere* - I'm gonna be honest and say I have no idea if this is worth a shit. I haven't seen it since the theater and I may have only liked it then cause Denis Leary said "fuck" a lot.
Black Christmas (1974) - Pick up the phone, IT'S BILLY! The classic.
Christmas Evil (1980) - Moss Garcia, you will receive your comeuppance, you little shitass.
Day of the Beast (1995) - Spanish classic featuring a priest and a metalhead joining forces to stop the arrival of Satan.
Don't Open Till Christmas (1984) - Probably the itchiest, oiliest thing to ever happen in the UK. Santa castration.
Gremlins (1984) - Hey, look, it was the same year as "Don't Open Till Christmas." Spielberg insisted on no castration here.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) - Jesus, look at 1984 go. People were really like, "Fuck Christmas," that year. The trash classic.
Iced (1988) *Premiere* - There were shitloads of snow on the slopes and up the filmmakers' noses for this low end ski slasher. Yes, this is what we've come to.
LUMPS OF COAL
Elves (1989) - Features Dan Haggerty in a Frights Hall of Fame performance that many have called "the drunkest of his career." Also notable for the bold artistic choice of making the elf creature (singular) about as articulated as a bean bag chair. Really something special.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987) -Behold the wonderment of Eric Freeman's tour de force performance or else he will get all "IT'S GARBAGE DAY" on your ignorant ass. He basically reinvents acting here. His eyebrow work alone renders the entire history of drama irrelevant. What I'm saying is, WATCH THIS PIECE OF SHIT.
Santa Claws (1996) *Premiere* - There's really nothing good to be said here. Let's just wade through it. Or maybe Santa will let it fall off the lineup.
Campfire Tales: The Fright Before Xmas (1991) - It's the Christmas segment from the bargain basement anthology (and Frights alumnus) Campfire Tales, featuring the dreaded Satan Clause. By request, we can also watch the segment where smoking weed makes people melt.
Junky's Christmas (1993) - A beloved Horrors staple.
Tales from the Darkside: Seasons of Belief (1986) - If you vote for this, you know who will come to get you...THE GRITHER!
Twilight Zone: Night of the Meek (1959) *Premiere* - We're honored to have Rod Serling join the Horrors family.
THIS SHIT STARTS NEXT WEEK